It Does Get Better

They always say when you love some one you you should let them and if its meant to be well then they'd find their way back into your life, but how true is that? My philosophy is this:  "When you love someone, fight for what you feel. But if the one you love, loves someone else, LET GO. Be like a soldier, know when to fight and when to surrender." Everything has a way of working it's self out and I strongly believe that if it's meant to be it will be just don't do anything outrageous. Not everyone that comes in your life is meant to stay no matter how in love they say they are with you or how in love you think you are with them. Some are just here to teach us all a lesson about ourselves and show us how strong we can be when they break our hearts... Sometimes we need a broken heart, sometimes we need to fall for jerks, bitches and douche bags and sometimes they need to treat us like crap so that we'll know how to appreciate out Prince Charming and Princesses when they finally come along. Life has a lot of lessons that it wants to teach us and I admit, those lesson aren't always fun and they don't always leave us smiling... Some of them send us spiraling into depression, have us up all hours of the night crying into our pillows and wishing we were dead cause the pain of a broken heart is just too much to take. We've all had to go through it at one point in our lives or the other. Everybody knows what pain feels like, we've all had our hearts broken by the one person we never thought in a million years would hurt us. It's a natural  part of life. Without sadness there can be no joy, without tears, there can be no laughter, these things work together as one and we need to experience the bad to fully appreciate the good that life has to offer and that my friend is what you call the #YingYangEffect... everything in this world exists with its opposite, so if you find yourself crying for a week straight, look forward to a week of pure happiness and laughter... Pain isn't forever.

Animal Session

Dolphins

Chinchilla

Great White Shark

Monkey

I have a strange and usual love for Tigers, Dolphins and Monkeys. They are just so adorable and I love them so much... I wanted ride a Dolphin one day and maybe own a Monkey and Tiger though I don't think they would let me own a Tiger which is just not fair. Safe animals are no fun they are so boring, well all except Chinchillas and God knows I love those adorable little things... They are so cute and the way the leap is breath taking. I so want one but i'm not sure how to get one. Anyone of y'all know which direction to point me in? I have a thing for animals especially those that can kill or mane you... Is that weird? I don't think it is, oh I really love Sharks too, preferable the Great White, they are just every amusing and I find then awesome... There was also this period I was going through where I really wanted to strangle a Penguin all because of a episode of Wonder Pets that I had watched, yea i know that's weird and kinda messed up, but if y'all watched that episode you would have known why... I don't particularly like Lions, I think they are too over played and they just don't amuse me in the least well the Lionesses kinda do but not much. I think Whales are cool too, not a lot of coolness points but I mean they're huge so yea that's kinda cool.. There are a lot of animals out there that fascinates me like the Liger which  might I add totally kicks ass!!! Then there are the ones that don't like Buffalo's what the hell are those, all weird and shit. 

Liger

Tiger

Pumps Malfunction

So I made a pretty bold attempt to wear these sexy pair of hot pumps one day... I wasn't even looking at the size of the heel man the shoes just called me and I proudly answered the call like a boss, plus it wasn't my money getting burned so it made the whole thing even better... now am talking bout a $3,800 dollar shoes, black suede and all the hotness points one could ever dream of!! I didn't even care that it was a size bigger than I had originally wanted. I'm a size 7 and the shoes were a 8 but I could not leave that store without them, particularly because the other pair of shoes that I had originally wanted had severe malfunction issues and I needed a new pair of shoes for an event I was to attend. Now here I am admiring the shoes from all angles, dying to just shove my foot all up in that piece and test drive that sucker before I made my decision final even though I had already made up my mind that it was coming home with me no matter the cause of it. So here I am in the shoe store, with ma new pumps on, feeling confident and all got my swag on full volume feeling great... purchased it and then left the store with a big stinking smile on my face feeling like i'm queen of the world dying for the next day to go strut my stuff at the event... Finally the big day arrived and as I got dolled up and maked up and the full nine yards, I put the shoes on to go out and make a statement in front of all my friends that was waiting on me... and this is the fate that befell me: Can you say embarrassed!!

Cheer Up Pills

Happy Pictures!

                                                             

Single?

Now there are a lot of benefits to being single and i'm learning that now. I've been single for 4 days now which for me.... well that's the longest I've ever been single since I started dating and I must admit it is kinda fun! One of the best things about being single, you don't have to worry about anyone's feelings but your own. There's this level of freedom and total oneness, plus you can flirt as much as you want without anyone getting upset with you, well you can until the other person wants to take a little further and you shoot them down but that should be the least of your worries :). I must admit, I do kinda miss the whole bf/gf status but i'm just not ready to go there again, this is the year of me... as said by my best friend Chanice... She and I are kinda going through similar situations its fun knowing i'm not alone, she really understands me better than anyone really and I love that! My single life is actually not as bad as I thought  it would be, it's actually really really really fun, though I haven't started the whole flirting phase of it all yet so you can just imagine when that ball gets to rolling!! For all of you guys out there who are complaining about how you hate being single and how being single sucks... Y'all are living the single life really wrong!!! A relationship takes a lot of time and patience and understanding and I have none of those, well I do... just not a lot of it so in this year of getting to know myself i'm going to work on my people skills.. A guy can be my best friend for years on top of years but as soon as the whole gf/bf bomb gets dropped its like I instantly go in defense mode and that's when everything goes south and its with that that I know I need this time off, else am looking to spend forever alone with 27 stinking cats.... and I hate cats. Being by yourself is not a bad thing people, in fact it actually shows you how strong you are knowing you have no one but yourself to rely on... So be single and rock it out!! there's plenty of time for love and togetherness an marriage and when all of that happen you can just kiss "alone time" goodbye worst when the kids get involved... Still think being single is a bad thing?? #ThinkAboutIt

Relationships

Now no one said these lil nightmares would be very easy to deal with, honestly they are probably the hardest things we'll ever have to do in all our lives. Some may ask is there ever a way to fully prepare yourself for a relationship? my best answer, hell no! You can't study for a relationship and no matter how well you think you may know your significant other they will always find some way or the other to surprise you. Now in all fairness, we are all different and to be able to even try and attempt to be with someone, you have to first know how to survive by yourself; learn how to rely solely on yourself and learn to love yourself unconditionally before you can say you love someone else. If you cant love yourself yourself first, your relationship will suffer greatly. Also, never jump from one relationship to the next... That is one lesson I had to learn the hard way. You see when you do that, you then enter into that new relationship with all the problems you had carrying from the previous one and before you know it, you're taking out all your problems on this poor soul that did you no wrong, in fact all they tried to do was love you and make you happy.... but the hurt that you've been bottling up, well it kinda blinds you and you start to react negatively because you're confused by all that you are feeling. Your emotions have a funny way of bringing you to places you never thought possible and that can be scary. I've always though that everyone else was the problem, they just didn't understand me but after a while I've come to the realization that I was my own worst enemy, the only one standing in the way of my own happiness all because of pains from the past that hadn't let go of and because of that all my relationships suffered because all my barriers go up instantly, trying to keep me safe from getting hurt again... And though it does work, it always helps in keeping everyone else out. So you see, there are many factors that could prevent you from having that fairy-tale relationship that we've all grown up dreaming about... Go through detox, take a time out from relationships to fully reconnect with yourself, trust me when i say, you'll be surprised at how much you come to learn about yourself and I guarantee when you finally heal, the next relationship that you find yourself will be a solid 98% perfection.... No one is perfect after all :)

My Story

Do you ever just feel like your stuck or your life just isn't going anywhere or if it is it's not in the direction you want it to go? It is highly frustrating having all of these dreams and these plans and not having the first dollar to get you by to the next level. The story of my life... I am a 19 year girl the first for my mom and the third for my dad.. see my dad left when I was about 6 there about and for 13... THIRTEEN years I haven't seen him, barely heard from him and we never bonded so it is was always me an ma mom. Now ma mom has two other kids from her marriage they are both girls, now everyone is like omg it must be so cool having sisters you can talk to about stuff... Yeah well it would be if they weren't 11 and 8, we legit have nothing in common or anything to talk about so I've kinda grown alone pretty much and its hard, yeah I do have other sisters on my dads side but we never grew up together and we barely talk... Bummer right? Anyway my dad recently came back and I thought things were going to be so much better cause then I wouldn't have to feel like a burden on my mom cause she's a single parent and we all know... well most of us know how truly difficult that can be trying to raise three kids on your own. So here I thought yea, I can now turn to my dad and he'll help me... Boy was I wrong!! Having him here is not a dream at all, its kinda like he's still in England, he doesn't come to visit, I don't hear from him and really does nothing for me and now i'm suppose to go away to further my studies and I honestly don't even think its going to work now because i'm flat broke... there are days when I think could my life be any sadder and then it dawns on me... yes it could be, not really a comforting thought but it is the truth. I just really wish my parents well really my dad would take a little more interest in me and my dreams and aspirations seeings how i'm actually his only kid trying to make something of my self and my life but that is just a dream that i'm afraid will never come true... and as for finding a job to help my self.... that is proven to be even more challenging... life ain't easy and its like the older I get, the harder it gets and I honestly don't know if I can keep strong by myself.

Your Happiness Leads To Others Bitterness

Sometimes you just have to know when to let go and live your life for yourself. Are people gonna get hurt? Hell yeah, but I've learned that hurt is inevitable and no matter what you do you will always get hurt or cause hurt to someone you particularly care greatly about. I've stopped trying to be this person that everybody seems to want me to be and I'm now happily living to please myself. It's not always easy to do the things that makes you happy especially when you start to think about the hurt it might cause others.... But here's what you do... You suck it up and get on with your life cause really you're actually doing them a favor.  Nothing in life is easy and nothing in life is promised.. Live it up and as long as you're happy, you're doing something right. You should not allow others to make you feel guilty by doing what makes you smile. #ItsYourLife