My Story

Do you ever just feel like your stuck or your life just isn't going anywhere or if it is it's not in the direction you want it to go? It is highly frustrating having all of these dreams and these plans and not having the first dollar to get you by to the next level. The story of my life... I am a 19 year girl the first for my mom and the third for my dad.. see my dad left when I was about 6 there about and for 13... THIRTEEN years I haven't seen him, barely heard from him and we never bonded so it is was always me an ma mom. Now ma mom has two other kids from her marriage they are both girls, now everyone is like omg it must be so cool having sisters you can talk to about stuff... Yeah well it would be if they weren't 11 and 8, we legit have nothing in common or anything to talk about so I've kinda grown alone pretty much and its hard, yeah I do have other sisters on my dads side but we never grew up together and we barely talk... Bummer right? Anyway my dad recently came back and I thought things were going to be so much better cause then I wouldn't have to feel like a burden on my mom cause she's a single parent and we all know... well most of us know how truly difficult that can be trying to raise three kids on your own. So here I thought yea, I can now turn to my dad and he'll help me... Boy was I wrong!! Having him here is not a dream at all, its kinda like he's still in England, he doesn't come to visit, I don't hear from him and really does nothing for me and now i'm suppose to go away to further my studies and I honestly don't even think its going to work now because i'm flat broke... there are days when I think could my life be any sadder and then it dawns on me... yes it could be, not really a comforting thought but it is the truth. I just really wish my parents well really my dad would take a little more interest in me and my dreams and aspirations seeings how i'm actually his only kid trying to make something of my self and my life but that is just a dream that i'm afraid will never come true... and as for finding a job to help my self.... that is proven to be even more challenging... life ain't easy and its like the older I get, the harder it gets and I honestly don't know if I can keep strong by myself.